The Lock and Key Hypothesis

Considering all the circumstances that have come my way of late, I can say I've been holding up pretty well :)

The nights are calmer than ever before, and the dawns are radiant with absolute hope.

I know, I know, I'm exaggerating.... But still, it seems that way to me, so don't rob a boy of his joy. heh.

Deciding to let go, disregard, transgress, look forward and entrust it all to the Creator is definitely the best decision I can ever make in this situation.

After all, what JL said was right. "The need to choose, already shows the flaw in the (supposed-to-be-perfect) blueprint. No lock should ever be opened with two different keys." *Pardon the innuendo* *Shame on you if you thought that! HAHA!*

I'm done playing second fiddle, what more when I know I deserve better for everything I did(& didn't do). God's best, and nothing less.

Label me condescending, but I think it's only fair to think about 'what's best for me' for once.

To those who know what I'm talking about, thanks for being there for me. You know who you are. :)

To those who are unsure, please, don't assume anything.

Gazing up at the stars,

Shaun

Ponders

I believe,

Sometimes, we run a lil too fast through life.

So fast, that we fail to stop once in a while, take a breather and 'smell the roses'.

We miss out on the simple good times that life has to offer, and grow old a bitter person.

Then again,

There are those who fail to look forward.

Those who simply want to stay at a certain place and refuse to budge.

Those who become short sighted, enjoy life too much, and grow old a suffering person.

Me?

I shall not be defined by who I could have been.

Neither will I be defined by who I should have been.

Finding the perfect blend between the two personae is a difficult task indeed.

But hey, what's life without a little challenge? ;)

"The past, is history.

The future, is a mystery.

But today, is a gift.

That's why it is called the present."

Mauritius '06

In a subtle nostalgic mood ,

Shaun

La Verdadera Felicidad

What is 'happiness' to you?

A feeling so easily 'experienced', yet so impossibly perfected.

Some find it in the gain of an expensive car.

Some find it in the arms of a loved one.

Some find it in the simplicity of chocolate ice-cream with coloured sprinkles *grins*

What is 'happiness' to me? In all honesty, I do not know, neither do I intend on finding out.

After all, what becomes of this bout of happiness in due time?

Cars get stolen.

Loved ones get bored and tired of putting up with one another.

Ice cream... adds a little extra weight to the scale.

If all of these do not last, how can happiness be happiness if it does not remain happy? *Confusing, isn't it?*

Temporary satisfaction is not my goal in life.

So the real question is,

"What is true happiness to you?"

- Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.

Rejoicing,

Shaun

Heaven's Grocery Store

I was walking down life's highway a long time ago.

One day I saw a sign that read,

"Heaven's Grocery Store".

I got a little closer, the door came open wide;

And when I came to myself, I was standing inside.

I saw a host of Angels, they were standing everywhere;

One handed me a basket and said,

"My Child shop with care".

Everything a Christian needed was in that Grocery Store; and

all you couldn't carry, come back the next day for more.

First, I got some Patience, Love was in the same row.

Further down was Understanding, you need that everywhere you go.

I got a box or two of Wisdom, a bag or two of Faith,

I just couldn't miss the Holy Ghost for it was all over the place.

I stopped to get some Strength & Courage to help me run the race,

By then my basket was getting full, But I remembered I needed some Grace.

I didn't forget Salvation, for Salvation was free.

So I tried to get enough of that to save both you and me.

Then, I started up to the counter to pay my grocery bill

For I thought I had everything to do My Father's Will .

As I went up the aisle, I saw a Prayer and, I just had to put that in,

For I knew when I stepped outside. I would run right into sin,

Peace and Joy were plentiful. They were on the last shelf.

Song and Praises were hanging near so I just helped myself.

Then, I said to the Angel, "Now how much do I owe"?

He just smiled and said,

"Just take them everywhere you go".

Again, I politely asked,

"Just how much do I really owe"?

The Angel smiled again and said,

"My Child, Jesus paid your bill a long time ago".

-Ron DeMarco

With praise on his lips,

Shaun

Me, Definition.

What really defines you?

Is it the things you do? Or is it the person you want to be?

A person whom I hold in the highest regard once said, "We are human beings, not human doings. If you want to do something, do be."

At the end of it all, you can do what you're not.

A simple smile can hide the greatest pain.

Can you really be who you're not?

I doubt it.

Real change comes from the inside.

About time we stop pretending.

"Are we happy plastic people?

Under shiny plastic steeples

With walls around our weakness

And smiles to hide our pain

But if the invitation's open

To every heart that has been broken

Maybe then we close the curtain

On our stained glass masquerade"

Food for thought,

Shaun

Reunion

Went for a SMK SS17 class of '08 reunion last night (finally!), partly to celebrate (not in happy way, haha) the departure of Miss Soon Phaik Wei who as of today, will be going to Kampar to study for 3 years!

All in all, I'm pretty sure we had a good time of fellowship and fun, albeit the bad choice of venue. (STEAMBOAT!)

Some of these people I have not met in almost a year, and its amazing to see how little any of us have changed over the past year, both in appearance and attitude.

I guess the only real noticeable difference is the ambitions and future plans of the friends who once upon a time only wanted to be doctors, lawyers, scientists and the occasional astronauts!

Rock on, mates. <3

Reminiscing,

Shaun

Unfinished Work

"We were the kindred hearts

We were a promise unbroken

We are the blemished past

We are a conclusion unspoken."

-ZB.

Head Over Heels,

Shaun

United We Stand

I really don't understand all the physical fighting and anger that has come to pass in our dear nation lately.

Who are we to decide who gains sole ownership of a word that is meant to represent an entity as a whole?

I might be stepping on some toes as I say this, but it's rather foolish how some people try to show their superiority by instilling fear into the hearts of their enemies.

At the end of the day, not only does the plan backfire as we become more united, but it just goes on to show how misguided your plight is.

I don't know about your Allah, but my Allah teaches me to be above destroying buildings and causing disharmony in order to fight for a cause.

Bemused beyond belief,

Shaun

What's Freedom To You?

Freedom.

Many people long to be free.

To be free from chains that tie them down.

To be free from rules that restrict them.

To be free from influences that hold them back.

To be free from circumstances that cripple them.

At the end of it all, how far are we willing to go to gain this freedom?

The freedom to profess, and the freedom to declare what we believe in.

Come a time where persecution arises, and threatens to silence us, will we be afraid and back down feebly?

Or will we rise up to the plate, carry our Cross, and stand for what is right?

Are we really living for a cause so great? Would we really die for a cause so great?

"Give me liberty, or give me death."

The freedom fighter,

Shaun

The Love Letter

Long sentimental post ahead, feel free to skip if necessary. Blame the hidden romanticist persona of mine. =D

p/s I know I don't usually post these kind of things up, so don't be expecting too many of these 'die-hard Casanova' posts any time soon. Think of it as a sparingly taken 'delicacy'. haha!

_______

A few nights back, while sitting on the balcony under a full moon, I wrote this entry in my prayer journal.

A love letter to my future partner

I have no idea who she is at the moment, nor do I plan to find out before the right time. Heck, I may not even have met her yet. Still, I knew it was time to just pen it down afresh as a reminder of my commitment.

I felt challenged to type this out on my blog, probably as an eye-opener to some of you, or even a form of encouragement to those who hold the same principles as I do. And for the majority of you, this will probably help you understand a little more why I do the things I do.

The following letter contains material both applicable to the present and the future, so please be oblivious to the use of tenses. :)

_________

Dear future partner - whoever you may be,

Hey there! I may or may not know you yet, but here goes anyway.

Thank God that He brought you to me! I have been waiting so long for you! Waiting... the word sounds so cliché all of a sudden, doesn't it?

I can tell that you're probably wondering why I do the things I do. Why I am so crazy on 'waiting till the right time' or 'taking time out to think and pray about it first'.

Let me assure you, it's all done for the best of the both of us.

It's all done, because I would love you too much.

I would wait, because I want to know it is gonna last forever.

I would wait, so that we will know are both suited for each other before we step into a relationship.

I would wait, so that we can be sure we will not be walking into a mistake that might scar both of us for life.

I would wait, because I want to be ready to take care of you. To be able to grow to become a mature, selfless individual, not the one I am now.

I would wait, because I want to know that I can support you and a family physically, emotionally, financially, for a lifetime.

I would wait, because I want to know you before we begin something so important as a relationship. Not just our likes and dislikes, but something deeper, such as our passions, what drives us, our dedications, our expectations, our commitments, our faith. To know that we are two souls wandering on the same page.

I would wait, because I would wait on God. His time is perfect, so why forfeit the blessing He has for us by taking it into our own hands?

Dear partner,

What I believe is, love does not happen at first sight. That's called an infatuation. Love grows over time, just like a seed that is so carefully nurtured to blossom into a beautiful apple tree.

Gather the apples too early, and the products are sour. Why? Because the season is not right.

But pluck them off at the perfect moment, and what you get is the perfect fruit that's pleasant to both the tongue and the heart.

That's what I want our relationship to be like. An everlasting bond that will be filled with sweet memories, not the sour ones that come so often with a rushed relationship, especially since they tend to never last.

Dear partner,

I believe that love, is not just physical. I'm pretty sure you know that too. It breaks my heart to see so many of my peers, with so much potential, lose sight of what true love actually is.

Love is intellectual, and our love would not allow our actions to be rash and without thought. Our love would know how to think for each other's best interest, and deal with issues through patience and forgiveness.

Love is emotional, and our love will want to protect each other from the dangers of physical lust.

Our love would set boundaries to guard our hearts from guilt, shame, sin and eventual pain.

Love is spiritual, and our love would not stumble our spiritual walk with God. Our love for each other would glorify God, put God first, and just deepen our love and desire for Him.

Dear partner,

How would we know the time is perfect?

After we agree that there is some emotion between us, let's take some time to sit back, to let it grow. Let's be accountable to the people we trust, the mentors, the people who have seen it, gone through it all before. Let's entrust them to tell us whether we are ready, all the while preparing our hearts and soul for the next step that is togetherness.

Once the green light is given, and we are certain that our stands and beliefs are steadfast, then I'm pretty sure it's a divine matchmaking and that we can go ahead with a relationship. :)

Dear partner,

At the end of the day, doesn't the test of time really show the true character of our love? Wouldn't the ability to hold back show how deep and genuine our love is? How much in love we really are with each other?

So, let's just make our love a testimony to our children and people around us, let's make it known that it doesn't hurt to wait, that it doesn't hurt to be sure that our love, relationship and marriage will last forever. Let's make it known, that true love waits.

The ring on my finger, already signifies the commitment that I have made, and I haven't regretted it one bit.

Am I ready? I definitely am not. I'm still growing, still changing, still maturing. I've still many issues to deal with, still not the person I want to be.

I only want to be the best I can be, for you, and for God.

So wait with me, and let's make our love an everlasting one.

The perfect love story.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." - 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Lord, I commit it entirely to you. You have, and will never let me down, so I only want Your best for me, and nothing less. Your choice, is my future.

With much love, now and always,

Shaun

Of Maturity And Birthdays

A person told me today,

"You write and sound too sophisticated for your age."

I retorted back at him,

"Actually, I write and sound too sophisticated for YOUR age."

Pardon the horrible pun, needed to update my blog with something for today. :)

Long, deep emo post coming up in a while!

_____

On another note, I know it's a little late but,

Happy Birthday Audrey Chew!

I know you had a blast on your birthday, good for you!

Your present is on it's way! *literally*

The "sophisticated" one,

Shaun

A Look Back

It's official, I'll be a Monash boy come March 1st, 2010.

When I look back, it's pretty astounding how fast life has progressed through the years.

I secretly muse at all the past challenges, the heartbreaks, the accomplishments, the disappointments, the victories, and most definitely, the experiences.

And even as I begin to venture into University life, I'm rather satisfied to say that I've kept strong to my beliefs and stands after all these years. Not to be self-conceited or condescending, but rather just happy that I'm the person I am today, despite all the peer influences and monopolies.

Certainly, some of them were building. And for that, I'm thankful for being placed in an abode full of individuals I can trust, and do life with. After all, there's still so much room to improve, so many things to be better at.

As for the future... well, I constantly pray that my mindsets and notions will never be compromised nor wavered, and only by His grace, I'm assured that I will not stumble.

Failing to fall,

Shaun

Three Cheers For The Old Days!

School starts tomorrow. I remember the excitement the night before school reopens.

I remember waking up, trudging to the kitchen to drink my usual cup of hot Milo.

I remember packing my oversized-yet-under filled bag 5 minutes before leaving the house.

I remember the screams from both my parents from outside the house while I'm still packing my bag.

I remember the catching up with friends at the back of the class in between periods.

I remember stressing over Koperasi duties day after day after day.

I remember going to the toilet after almost every period with the guys.

I remember... the laughter, the giggles, the shouting, the running around, the sneaking about, and the freedom.

Knowing that I can never return to those days, makes me miss them dearly.

Yet, the thought of waking up later than any of those chumps feels somewhat...

invigorating.

Growing up,

Shaun

Lost Generation

I refuse to believe that I am part of a lost generation.

Living the change,

Shaun

Growing Up 101

I made mistakes. I still am actually.

Sometimes when you look back, and see how the mistakes you made affected the lives of others, it really gets you thinking, will there be another chance?

Time to start making up for them. One mistake at a time.

This is what the new year is all about isn't it? Forgetting the old, embracing the new.

I've forgiven, now, to seek forgiveness :)

Learning to Breathe,

Shaun

Birthday Wish 101

To one of my best-est friend & brother,

Happy Birthday Wai Jun Hung!

It must rock to be older than almost everyone else in the same year as you :)

Looking out for you,

Shaun

A Cracked Memory

I found out that 2 days ago, a friend of mine passed away in a freak car accident. He was a hit and run victim, and the murderer might never be found.

We weren't very close, but had a year together a few years back and basically knew enough about each other to be considered "friends".

R.I.P. Bro, and here's to meeting each other again when its my time to be there where you are :)

_____

Thoughts for today:

Life... is fragile. Unpredictable.

You can never really know what's behind the next corner.

Most times, we just take for granted each day, complaining on how life is unfair, instead of just being thankful for the day that has been given, and using it to its best potential.

It doesn't matter what age you die, for a life lived well is a life well lived, and not determined on how short or long it is.


Deep in thought,
Shaun

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

2010. Has a pretty nice ring to it, dont'cha think?

My New Year's Eve celebration included:

Dinner with the family and a large number of their friends at Cobra Club

Short mamak session with Suhaib followed by the watching of fireworks from my place along with the sisters and Germae

Night out with a couple of close friends.

Am still yet to think and pray for a New Year's Resolution for 2010. Am wanting it to be real special, something that I can look back on a few years in the future and say, "Hey, I managed to do such and such in 2010!" *pats back*

Why I was already awake at the brink of dawn today, is a whole other question.

Road to Recovery,

Shaun